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This is how one faux-mysterious coworker, fueled by leftover Craigslist manifestos and an unearned sense of intrigue, transformed the drama of everyday logistics into an Olympic sport.
He strutted through cubicles trailing whiffs of discount cologne, doling out tragic tales about his phantom arm injury and grand stories about the luxury cars he was “definitely not leasing.” He borrowed entire personalities the way most people borrow staplers, badly and with no intention of returning them. The highlight reel includes but is not limited to: house-sitting at “his” borrowed mansion, showing up to work chemically enhanced, and cultivating an ambiance that said, “international man of mediocrity.”
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I'm not sure where else to post this. a coworker got fired for stealing my $30 ear buds
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Against this backdrop, he still found time to reach for the stars and, naturally, someone else’s ear buds. Thirty bucks of mid-tier audio technology vanished, replaced by dollar store decoys one rung above “found in a discount cereal box.” For a brief moment, the office engaged in a murder mystery minus the murder or the mystery. He denied the theft with all the conviction of a kindergartener caught with cookie crumbs on his face.
In the end, our hero didn’t just lose the ear buds, he lost his job, his lease on fake status, and his audience. Sometimes karma comes in tiny, silicone-tipped packages.
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The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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